Reflections on Season 3
by cougshupe
Summary: Independent vignettes reflecting on the events of each episode of Season 3. Latest Episode 5: Fit and Trim and Episodes 6 and 7 Taking Action
1. A Night to Forget

_A/N: One time vignette, inspired by the latest episode. Samantha's POV._

_Timeline: Scenes throughout 'In the Dark', the Season Three Premiere._

_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters on 'Without a Trace', but the ideas are mine.

* * *

_**A Night to Forget**

"Damn it." 'Not now. I'm busy, I'm finally doing something for myself. Why can't the world just let me have an hour for myself.' But Samantha knew that she had to answer the ringing phone, had to respond to the call of duty, because she was, first and foremost, an FBI agent. Before she answered she tried to slow her breathing, which was difficult considering the position she was in. "Spade," she answered while she gazed up at Martin's impatient eyes. She could tell that he was having trouble keeping himself from ripping the phone from her hand and continuing as if there were no interruption.

But Samantha knew her priorities and after agreeing to be at the parent's house of a missing person in thirty minutes she knew she didn't have any more time for herself. She made a half-hearted effort to push Martin off of her, "I've got to go to work." He was reluctant, obviously he wanted to finish what they had started, but this time she was saved by the ringing of his phone. Finally, with a sigh of frustration, Martin rolled off of her to answer is own phone. She took the opportunity to rise so that Martin would have no opportunity to make her late to the interview. She entered the bathroom and without looking back at him heard Martin answer his phone.

Martin had called a cab to take them; she figured that it was okay to arrive together as long as no one saw them. She didn't say anything to Martin on the way, she hoped that they could both forget this night. It's wasn't that she didn't want to have sex with him, it was just that they worked together and she knew how hard it was to hide a relationship from your co-workers. Or if they were public with their 'relationship' she'd never hear the end of it from Danny and she knew that it wasn't a good way to get herself promoted within the Bureau. She'd already had one affair with a co-worker, she didn't want to look like the office slut who sleeps her way to the top. By the time they arrived at the Cruz home, she had decided that she would pretend that tonight never happened and hope that Martin would do the same.

* * *

'Whew, long day, but a productive one. Thank god that both women were alive, but it's frustrating that we won't be able to charge Trent Barker with much. Hopefully he learned his lesson. I don't know if I should be congratulating Danny and Martin for a job well done or chastising them for ruining the prosecution's case. Oh, well, I'll think about it tomorrow, now all I want is a warm bed and a good night's sleep.'

Samantha looked around and saw that she was all alone with Martin. 'Whoops, why couldn't I have just ducked out before Danny? I wish I could make a break for it, but I know that I have to say something to him.' "Well, you just got your head handed to you."

He smiled mischievously, "Wouldn't be the first time."

"I guess some things around here won't change too much."

She could feel Martin's eyes bore into her and she willed him to avoid the subject of their intimate encounter. "I was thinking some things will though."

Samantha gave him a quizzical look, knowing what was coming. 'I'll have to work on my Jedi mind powers,' she thought. Still hoping to be wrong she asked, "What do you mean?"

She could hear Martin sigh to himself, annoyed that she was making him spell it out. "I mean you and me. We, uh, sort of got interrupted this morning."

Samantha's face remained unchanged as she agreed, "Yeah, we did." She tried hard not to react to what he was proposing

Martin seemed unfazed by her lack of enthusiasm and continued, "I'll walk out ahead of you."

Without thinking Samantha blurted out, "Okay." There was that part of her that wanted him and she was left unfulfilled this morning. Martin stepped around Samantha and headed out of the office. She watched as he rounded the corner to head for the stairs.

When he was gone, her brain re-engaged. 'What am I doing? I was going to ignore last night not repeat it,' she criticized herself. 'I was going to tell him that it was a mistake, but he obviously doesn't think it was. Argh, when did life get so complicated?' But knowing that she wouldn't stand Martin up she headed out of the office too.

She rounded the corner toward the stairs and realized that she'd forgotten her purse at her desk. She turned back and saw a man entering the office she had just left. He was turned away from her so she could only see his back. She thought it was a strange time for a visitor, but noticed something familiar about him. She watched him casually walk toward Vivian's office and she realized that the stranger was Jack. 'What is he doing here? I thought he'd be in Chicago by now.' She took in his disheveled appearance and stooped shoulders; her curiosity was peaked. Immediately her rendezvous with Martin was forgotten and she took a step toward Jack.

* * *

_A/N: I'm not claiming that this is what I want to happen on the show, I just didn't think that Samantha looked as eager to pick up where they left off as Martin did and know from hours of television viewing that the producers and writers will not let Samantha and Martin be the happy couple so soon, if ever!_


	2. Jack's Back

_A/N: Inspired by Episode 2 - 'Thou Shalt Not'. Each team member's take on the boss' return._

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**Jack's Back**

_Vivian_

What do I have to do to earn some respect around this place? I come in everyday and work the long hours like everyone else, I do as I'm told, I'm not a wildcard like Martin, and I don't get involved in office romances like Samantha. Sure I have a family at home, but so does Jack. Why do they trust him to do the job over me? They didn't even give me a chance to prove myself. And it was Jack's decision today that almost got a whole building full of people killed. Although Van Doren will never know that because it was my call and I deferred to Jack. He was so sure that a detonator was going to be used so I listened to him, I followed _his_ gut even though _I_ was in charge. I guess it wouldn't work to have him return to the team with me as leader, too much history of him being in control, but I'm tired of waiting around for my turn.

_Jack_

My life appears to be falling apart around me, but I don't feel it. Sure I'm going to fight to get my girls back and I feel terrible for taking Vivian's job from her, but the day to day hasn't changed. I get up in the morning, I don't miss Maria or the kids because I was usually off at work before they rose each morning anyway. I come home at the end of the day and scrounge for dinner, but dinner has never been waiting for me and the girls were most often already in bed by the time I arrived. I don't feel more alone, because Maria and I didn't spend any time together in the evenings, we'd drifted too far apart for that. Besides, I love New York, I love my job, and my team is a great unit who I look forward to working with each day. In fact, this might be better than trying to keep my marriage together, I didn't want to start over in Chicago and now, ... I wonder what Samantha will think when I tell her about Maria. Has too much time passed?

_Samantha_

I heard his voice on the other end of the line and my breath caught in my throat. How could such a small thing as his voice evoke the conflicting set of emotions I'm feeling now? Why is he here? Is he going to stay? And most importantly, do I want him to stay? I've already tried to move on, fill the void that Jack still held in my heart, but was it a mistake?

_Martin_

God damn him, what is he doing back here? Does Samantha know? I don't want to lose her—I can't lose her—not now, not after she finally showed me that she cares about me too. He needs to let her go, why can't he just let her go?

_Danny_

Weird, Jack's gone and Vivian takes over, then Jack's back and Vivian is demoted. Strange the way things work out sometimes. I think it's going to be different though, everything isn't going to 'return to normal.' I hope that this doesn't look like a blemish on Vivian's record, she didn't really have a chance to show how good of a leader she is. Martin seemed perplexed by Jack's return and I'm sure that he is not happy about it, he probably thought that he could finally get somewhere with Samantha with Jack out of the picture. And Samantha, I hope that she doesn't start dating the boss again, that will not be good for her career, even if Jack ends up getting a divorce. But as for me, not much has changed, I report to Jack the same as I would to Vivian, I have great respect for both. I guess I was just hoping the drama of the office would be minimized with Jack's absence. So much for that.


	3. Late Nights

_A/N: Inspired by Episode 3 – 'Light Years' – Martin has left the office for the night, but Samantha and Jack remain. (M/S)_**

* * *

Late Nights**

Samantha looked around her desk, Vivian and Danny were gone, Martin had just left and she really did have at least 30 more minutes of work to complete before she'd feel finished enough to head out. She didn't figure that she did more work than the others, but she always seemed to be the last one around at the end of the day. Well, the last one if you didn't count Jack. Jack was always the last person to leave the office, and usually the first one there in the morning. After a brief analysis she concluded that she works more slowly than the others, but as this thought came to her mind she realized that working slowly was a habit she had fostered over the few years she had worked in this room.

_She thought back to a night not unlike this one. She had struggled over a sentence within her report, not really needing to change it, but proclaiming to those still remaining around her that she wouldn't be able to sleep unless the sentence was perfect. Slowly, the others filed out having completed their assignments. She glanced around the office and smiled because she had done it, she had mulled over her report so long that it was only she and Jack left at the office. _

_For months she worked hard at making their late nights together seem unplanned and coincidental, but she knew that she had purposefully found ways to drag out her tasks so that her co-workers thought that she was legitimately busy. Although, she was pretty sure that Vivian had caught on. Vivian had relied on her during Samantha's first few months with the unit because Samantha worked quickly and efficiently to get jobs done. So Vivian had probably noticed that Samantha's work habits had changed, but she'd kept it to herself, much to Samantha's relief._

On that night long ago she had crossed the empty room toward Jack's office and she did so now, after all, old habits die hard. She knocked softly on his open door and he looked up. She could see that he was staring at a document, the glazed look in his eyes told her that he hadn't been reading it, but probably thinking, about what she wasn't sure anymore.

"You okay Jack?" she asked innocently.

"Yeah, Sam, I'm fine, just a little overwhelmed." With his right hand Jack massaged his wearly forehead.

For him to allow her to see that he wasn't bulletproof proved to Samantha that Jack still cared about her a lot. He walked around like a stoic most of the time and it was rare for him to drop that façade, even in the presence of Samantha. "If you need to talk... I don't know if I can help, but I can listen." As she spoke, she glanced at the clock behind him, wondering how long Martin would wait for her, then smiling because she knew that he would wait all night.

Jack noticed her wayward glance and sighed inwardly. He was a trained investigator, he put it together that Samantha had someplace to be, but was glad that she had offered to talk anyway. "No, I don't think that I'm ready to talk, yet, but thanks for the offer, I may still take you up on it. ... You go now, it's late, I'm sure that you have somewhere better to be." He tried to release her, tried to offer his blessing for her to let go of her pity for him and enjoy her evening.

Samantha accepted, not knowing how else to offer her friendship and rather than face an awkward moment she turned around and walked out of the office.

He continued to stare at the office door, where Samantha had been standing. Vivian's words echoed in his head, "You screwed Samantha and then dumped her like garbage." Had he really? Had he been as callous toward Samantha as Vivian depicted? He rationalized that Samantha wouldn't have been so nice to him tonight if she felt the way Vivian described. Then his thoughts drifted to where Samantha was headed, obviously out and most likely not alone.

In the stillness of the room, Jack stared at the papers before him—some document his lawyer wanted him to sign to fight against his wife. He couldn't believe how his life had spiraled out of control in such a short period of time. Again he heard Vivian's words telling him to "take responsibility for the things you do and grow up." With a defeated sigh he picked up his pen and signed his name.

* * *

Martin heard a slight knock on his door, although he had been expecting Samantha he had given up on her two hours ago. When he opened the door he was shocked to see Samantha dripping wet. He ushered her into the room and quickly removed her soaking jacket. "What happened? You must be freezing."

"Nothing happened, I walked," Samantha explained as if it were a very common occurrence.

"You walked? Did you forget where I live, it's miles away ... in the rain!" As he marveled at Samantha's behavior he disappeared into his bedroom and come back with warm sweatpants and a dry shirt for her.

She accepted the items and after putting on the dry clothing she remained silent.

Martin stared at her, waiting for some explanation of her behavior, but she gave none and only returned his look. Finally, he accepted her silence and offered her some dinner, which she readily accepted.

Finally, after dinner, Samantha spoke about the night. "You should have seen Jack at the office. He looked so small, so defeated and I can't help but blame myself for a portion of what he's going through." Samantha admitted while her head rested on Martin's chest, his arms wrapped around her from behind.

"Now explain to me how you are taking responsibility for Jack's unhappiness."

Samantha paused for a moment trying to determine how to put her thoughts into words, "It's just that, well, maybe, ... maybe if I hadn't been in the picture his marriage would have worked. It was wrong what we did, I knew that he was married, yet, I ... I'd make all of these opportunities for us to be alone at the office or in the field. I guess that I kind of enticed him."

Martin unwrapped his arms from around her and made her face him, "You did not make him have an affair, Samantha. He is a grown man and can make decisions for himself. He knew he was married and he knew the vows that he took."

Samantha interrupted him, "But Martin, I purposefully worked late, I invented reasons so that we would have to work together, I ..."

"No," Martin was appalled that Samantha was putting this much blame on herself, "No, Samantha, that doesn't excuse what he did, _what Jack did_. He made the decision to cheat on his wife, he was not an innocent victim in the destruction of his marriage. Their marriage had problems before your affair with him. Why was he always the last person in the office at night so that you could 'make up excuses' to be alone with him, why was he so willing to indulge your 'reasons for working together'? Samantha, I didn't know him at the time, but I can bet that he wasn't the picture perfect husband and father even before you came along."

Samantha was quiet, but she held eye contact with Martin. He could tell that she was processing his words and hoped that she was thinking rationally. Finally, she nodded. "I get what you're saying Martin, I really do, but ... I think that it's just going to take time."

"Time I've got," he answered leaning into her and kissing her tenderly.

Samantha responded and when he pulled away she smiled at him. "Now, where's the library full of alien abduction books and the collection of inter-neural transmitters tracking our every move?" Samantha was moving her head all around as if trying to spot the items.

Playfully, Martin shoved her away from him as if upset, then decided to play along. "I keep it all in there," he said pointing and walking toward the bedroom. At the door he turned and eyed Samantha, "Care to join me ... Scully?"

Rolling her eyes, Samantha approached Martin, forgetting all about Jack and his problems.


	4. How Deep Is Your Love?

_A/N: OK, so I'm not very timely, but the episode didn't fill me with inspiration. Hope that I'll do better this coming week. Thanks for all of the reviews, they are all appreciated._

_Semi-Inspired by Episode 4 - 'Upstairs Downstairs' - Martin reflects on the day's case and on his job while Samantha worries about her relationship track record._**

* * *

Episode 4 – How Deep is Your Love?**

'God, she was so tiny, so helpless, and they were too late.' Martin kept telling himself that it wasn't their fault she had died, that she had died before they had been called onto the case, but he still felt responsible. He wondered about the futility of his job, 'What chance did he have to save people if a child's parents can't save their own baby?'

Sometimes he knew that this job was too much for him, he saw himself getting too wrapped up in each case and berating himself when he couldn't do more. Perhaps that's what drew him to Samantha in the first place. He used to watch her eyes and see the sadness reflecting out of them when they were too late or the hopeful attitude they held when they returned someone to their loved ones.

In many ways it was a great job, he was one of the first people to know how many people cared about the missing person and the amazement on the face of someone they had found when she realized how many people were looking for her—that she is not alone in this world, no matter what she thinks—is enough to keep him going. He had wondered more than once who would come looking for him if he were to disappear and he assumed that the others had imagined the same. The frustration appears when, too often, you have to go missing before you know who really cares about you.

Martin returned his thoughts to this case, to the little baby's father. He marveled at the depth of love that Lawrence had for his wife. Although he had never seen the man with his baby daughter, the accounts from friends and family proved that he was devoted to the little girl. But to be able to bury your grief with your daughter to shield your wife from the horrible accident she caused, he hoped that someday he would know such love.

Then he thought of the other side of the story that they had heard, that Terry hadn't loved Lawrence, had merely married him to hang onto her fortune as daddy had dictated. Martin knew that he had done things as his dad had dictated, for too many years, but believed that he wouldn't turn his back on love the way Terry had. Martin wondered if Lawrence knew or sensed that that Terry didn't love him, at least not to the degree that he loved her.

Martin glanced over at Samantha, thinking about their burgeoning relationship. He knew that he was falling hard for her, but wondered if she was really invested in the relationship or if she was just going through the motions of a relationship as society dictated. He wondered if he'd even be aware if their relationship mirrored Lawrence and Terry's.

Martin shook his head, he was getting too involved in the case. He reminded himself that the situations were very different and that Samantha was not Terry.

Samantha glanced over at Martin. He was just sitting at this desk, his eyes hazy as if he were daydreaming. She was worried about him, he got too emotionally involved in this case. She recalled the look on his face when he heard that Lawrence had buried the baby to spare his wife the guilt she would feel, knowing that it was the only way to try to save their marriage, knowing that Lawrence loved his wife so deeply that he could forgive her this accident, if only they would have each other.

She recalled the first moment when she realized Martin was getting in too deep, she had walked up behind him at the office, she longed to reach out to him, to put a comforting hand on his shoulder just to let him know that she was there for him, but she knew that she didn't dare. It was more than just keeping their relationship secret, she felt herself caring more than she had planned about Martin—felt herself getting in too deep in this relationship.

Samantha thought back to her past relationships, it'd been a long time since she'd invested in one that didn't have any obvious obstacles she could blame when she ran from the intensity of the emotions. Jack was the ultimate example, although she thought that she had loved Jack, she knew that she had used his marriage like a crutch, able to make him feel guilty and withdraw by the mere mention of Maria's name. She had done this many times when she felt herself depending on Jack more than on herself or when she knew that her emotions were blinding her rational thinking. But here she was, letting emotions think for her and wanting to reach out to Martin, but when she looked around there was no safety net—no wife to mention, no job to blame, no reason she could rely on to push him away—and it scared her.

Vivian threw a file on Samantha's desk and she snapped out of her fog, she glanced at Martin, he had come out of his daze as well. 'Finally,' Samantha thought, 'some work to do so I can push away these thoughts of Martin.'


	5. Fit and Trim

_A/N: Inspired by Episode 5 – 'American Goddess' – Danny learns about the compulsion women put upon themselves to look good._

_Okay, not my best story, but I ran out of ideas for it and got too excited by 'Nickel and Dimed' to put much more effort toward this vignette.

* * *

_

**Fit and Trim**

'Another day, another case,' Samantha sighed. She thought of poor Lynette so desperate for love and attention; desperate enough to endure surgery upon painful surgery. She was standing in the women's restroom staring at herself in the mirror. Sure there were bits and pieces she wasn't happy with, but she didn't think that she'd ever resort to cosmetic surgery. She shuddered feeling sorry for those who believed their outward appearance defined who they were. She took a step back from the mirror so it showed her entire body. 'Gotta get to the gym,' she murmured to herself as she left the restroom.

Before she made it to her desk, Martin intercepted her. He easily matched his stride to hers and spoke in a hushed, yet eager tone, "So are you coming over tonight?"

"Oh, Martin I can't. I promised Danny that we'd watch the football game together. We try to get together every week for the game, but only actually see it together about once a season. And tonight's out night. Oh, but I bet you could come, he wouldn't mind," she added quickly.

Martin tried to hide it, but he felt a tinge of jealousy at the thought of Danny having Samantha to himself that night even though he knew that they were just friends. He reminded himself that he didn't want to smother Samantha and they had seen each other almost every night last week and most of the weekend so he begged off, "No, you probably need some 'friend' time with Danny. I hope you have fun."

"Okay," Samantha responded, glad that Martin wasn't upset that she had plans with someone other than him.

She returned to her desk and Danny walked over, "We still on for tonight?"

"You bet, my place. The game starts at 9:00, but I thought you could bring pizza by earlier." Danny laughed, but agreed to the deal.

* * *

Danny showed up around 7:00 carrying a large pizza with everything on it, just the way Samantha liked it. Danny knew that he'd have to pick off the green peppers and onions, but it was a small sacrifice to see Samantha happy. He was wondering if he should brooch the topic of Jack's divorce with her, but decided to save it for another time, he wanted to have fun tonight and bringing up Jack's name might ruin that. 

Samantha answered the door wearing her Packers jersey even thought they were not playing that night. He laughed, she always wore the same thing on their Monday night game nights. But he looked at his own clothing and realized he was a man of tradition too, he had on his Giants jersey.

Samantha welcomed him into her apartment and opened the pizza box on the table. Danny went to the kitchen to get some drinks from the refrigerator. He open it and began rummaging around to see all of what she had. Stored in the very back behind some rarely used condiments he saw them. He saw the two cans of Fit and Trim diet drink he'd seen at Lynnette's place. He thought back to the comments he had made about the type of women who drink it. Immediately he felt like an idiot. He was amazed that Samantha, who visited the gym daily, still felt the need to indulge in the diet fads.

Danny wanted to apologize to Samantha for his comments, but didn't know how to bring up the subject. During dinner he counted how many slices of pizza she ate and noted that instead of indulging in soda or beer she drank water. He wondered why he hadn't noticed it before. By the time the game started, he decided that he wasn't going to bring the subject up, he didn't want to focus more attention of the issue than he already had. He made a mental note to compliment Samantha more regularly and Vivian too. Perhaps society has promoted unfair standards for women's appearance and since he couldn't change society all at once, maybe he could affect the attitudes and self-confidence of the women around him.


	6. Taking Action

_A/N: Inspired by Episodes 6 and 7 – 'Nickel and Dimed' – Martin takes action when Samantha is found.

* * *

_

**Taking Action**

Martin fired at Burns, knowing that Samantha had already hit him at least twice, but seeing the gun trained at Samantha he knew he had to finish the man off. Burns fell to the ground and every muscle in Martin's body urged him to race over to Samantha, to find out if she were okay. But training took over, he knew that he had to watch the threat, make sure it was safe. He glanced over at Samantha and saw her collapsed against the car, eyes shut as if every ounce of energy she had within her was spent. Then he saw Jack, saw Jack rush to her and support her in his arms, touch her with tenderness and concern. Martin seethed inside, he felt like an outsider, he watched helplessly as Jack fulfilled the role of Samantha's protector while he looked on. Turning his attention back to Burns, he kicked the gun away and cuffed the lifeless man and, as soon as he could, he rushed over to Samantha.

The paramedics had arrived and were about to load Samantha into the ambulance, Martin wanted so much to ride with her, to make sure she was okay, and to let her know that he was there for her. With a glance in Jack's direction, Martin made up his mind, "I'm going to ride with her." He didn't wait for acknowledgement from Jack he simply went to the ambulance and helped the EMTs load Samantha's stretcher and climbed in behind it.

Jack watched as Martin acted. He had known for a long time that Martin cared about Samantha, but suspected that something had actually happened given Martin's bold action. He felt wistful, thinking about how he was finally out of his relationship with Maria, free to be with Samantha, and finding out that she was no longer waiting for him. With regret, he watched the ambulance pull away and then slowly he climbed into his own vehicle and drove, not the hospital, but back to the office.

Samantha tried to open her right eye, it was swelling quickly and was threatening to close completely like her left one. Through the slit she managed to create she saw Martin sitting next to her in the ambulance and then realized that he was holding onto her hand. She studied his face without him being aware that she could see him and she read the concern plainly written all over it. She squeeze his hand and he blinked quickly, trying to shake the fear he was feeling so he could be strong for Samantha. He smiled at her, "You're going to be alright, I'm so glad we found you. I was worried ... we were all worried about you. But you did good, I guess you didn't even need us."

Through the pain she whispered just loud enough for him to hear, "I need you."

The nurses and doctors at the hospital patched Samantha up. They told her that she was lucky her injuries weren't worse and she thought about how bad they could have been and agreed. In the end they discharged her with only a few bruises and no broken bones.

Martin drove her to the motel to pick up the few items that she had taken with her. He carried the bags to the car as she greeted a small girl in the parking lot. He watched her fight back tears as she hugged the girl and her eyes followed her as she ran toward her mother. Martin was about to get into the car when he saw Samantha pull her phone from her pocket. He didn't know who she was talking to, but knew enough to give her space. He wondered how long she would remain in that crouched position and he hoped that someday she would tell him why this case had affected her so greatly. But, for now, he took solace in the knowledge that she was going to be okay.

* * *

_A/N: As long as I get one MS scene an episode I'm a happy camper. Keep the MS fiction flowing._


End file.
